Also, keep in mind the role of family in this culture. Many North Americans will find the constant attention of their intimate other to family odd, but it is perfectly normal and can cause lots of problems if that is not understood. They will love you very much, but will love their family no less. It is the same way in the Philippines and many other third world countries, where often family is all one has. And being a good Catholic country causes big families. Big problems crop up in the Philippines when the entire extended family expects the American or other foreign spouse to help support everyone.
Is there enough of a sampling to know if this is also a potential problem in Ecuador?
I'll be down to Ecuador for the entire summer. I'm just going to start off all my conversations with Ecuadorian girls by saying, "I'm broke. I'm not fat or bald or elderly, so hopefully my charm, boyish good looks, and quick wit will carry me far. I've been to Colombia and agree with the consensus that Colombian girls are stunning. I've never been to Ecuador, but the internet rumors seem to be that Ecuadorian girls aren't the lookers that their Colombian neighbors are. Anyone willing to use the anonymity of the internet to confirm or deny this for me?
The pictures and videos I've seen of the nightlife in Quito mostly show what I would consider to be some very attractive local women, but I know you can't ever tell what a place's deal is by watching youtube videos.
It won't be a bust either way. I'm coming to enjoy the country regardless of the hotness or unhotness of the ladies, but hot chicks are always great to have around. The difference is more cultural than in the appearance. Some lives with their parents until they are married, and then want to trade their family for another one. Not sure they even understand the concept of just dating someone. My friend could not even sleep over because.. The Colombian girls I've meet in Ec, were alot more 'open for business' and overall more evolved then their southern counterparts.
That sounds like something I don't want to even mess with. It's not that I have to sleep with a girl to go out and have a good time - at all. But the other end of the spectrum is a real turnoff for me. I shouldn't have to promise or insinuate a commitment to some girl just to go on dates and have some beers. If men have to respect the fact that some women want to date without the pressure of sleeping together, then women should respect that men might want to date without the pressure of marrying her.
And if I were dating a grown woman that had a curfew, I think I'd just find something else to do with my time.
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I dunno; I've also learned to never say never, so I'll just roll with whatever happens. It sounds as if Colombian girls are a better option for hanging out and partying with. Thanks for the info, Nemesis. I realize that these are generalities, but it at least gives me an idea of what I can expect to encounter. When I lived in California, I dated a girl across the border, and she was pretty conservative in the way you described. Was a pain having to take a grown woman home at midnight lest her parents think her to be a tramp. But I was early 20's then and was a lot more enamored by women and willing to jump through hoops to put up with their bullshit.
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Now that I'm older, if a woman requires a lot of hoop-jumping, I'm more apt to say eff it and go watch football. If Ecuador is like Mexico and the Philippines, then there are only two classifications for unwed women, they are either virgins or whores. You may want to rethink thinking that Ecuadorian women are gold diggers. That attitude will be reflected in your behavior and, besides, it really isn't true. Cultural differences can be complex and not understanding these differences is a bad way to start a relationship.
A few important things to understand. Catholic and family values rule this culture generally speaking.
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Many unmarried children live at home until they marry. Privacy for this group is almost non-existant. You will often see young couples sitting on park benches "petting" as the old-fashion phrase goes. Oddly, that feels more private to them because around the home with the parents watching would be much worse. If the women are older, they will probably be married and likely to have a child. So, many divorced women will also have children. Privacy in this situation can also be a challenge.
Family seems to always be around. This is not a problem for Ecuadorians, but it may be for you. But, not welcoming their family would be unadvisable. In Quito, Guayaquil, or Cuenca, the situation may be a little more like you are used to, but, of course, these are just generalizations. Ecuador is not a culture of one-night stands or casual relationships. But, if you want a real, long-term relationship, you will not find women more kind, tolerant, and understanding.
They are hard workers and will make sure your home your palace, not matter how modest. I find them much lower maintenance that women from North America and less prone to drama. When a crisis occurs, everyone pitches in and suddenly the problem is soved and everyone goes back to being content.
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Now, about the beauty of the women. My Columbian friend, who is truly gorgeous, also claims that Columbian women are the finest. If she is an example, that it must be true. They say here, however, the prettiest women are in Zaruma not to be confused with Zamora. I have been there many times and it is my favorite Ecuadorian city. I would say that, yes, the women there are very nice looking. But, you won't see red hair and freckles, or many blonds. But, don't lose site of something very important: In that respect, Ecuadorian women are among the most beautiful in the world.
I have heard women in Ecuador use the term divorced, not annulled. I don't know what the criteria is for an annulment here, in Ecuador, but in the US you couldn't have children and apply for an annulment. Maybe my old Catholic teaching's, but back in the day, if you had consummated the union, an annulment was out of the question. Guess we'll have to ask Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian, huh?
In the Philippines you need church approval to get an annulment, there is no lawful way to get a divorce. It is Catholicism as the law of the land, but it sounds like divorce is possible in Ecuador, but if like in the USA being divorced means you are out of the church. Just wondering how it works in Ecuador. Just read that the divorce rate is 4. It is like the United States. You go to a lawyer and sign papers. They take it from there and it is called divorce. There may be alimony. If you fail to pay, you can, and probably will, be jailed.
There are zero excuses for not paying alimony and it is strictly enforced. I know a few here that have served a night or two in jail before their friends helped them come up with the money. From what I have seen, women get very modest settlements. Thankfully, most Ecuadorians are very motivated to work out their problems and the divorce rate, as someone pointed out, is quite low. I have also noticed, like in may other places, once you are married, that first baby can come pretty fast, but the ones after that always take nine months.
People grin broadly if you mention this. Lastly, having a baby our of wedlock is not common. In other words, in Ecuador, catholic values are strong, but Christianity has has an element of Pachamama from indigenous influences, so there is some feminine energies that temper the predominantly male-centric catholic view. In fact, it is my observation that the Pachamama views are what drive the Ecuadorians' deep sense of commitment to each other and to the land.
They are, after all, the only country that gives constitutional rights to mother earth unless Chile has recently passed it's similar, proposed legislation. As you can imagine, the cultural differences in what North Americans know as a certain spiritual belief, and the actual, operating beliefs here are fascinating and helpful for explaining some common cultural misunderstandings.
As I often say, it is quite complex and subtle Senator Legarda got an annulment after nineteen years of marriage and two kids. Sorry for being off-topic, but that just annoys the heck out of me. And the USA denied the Philippines independence for 48 years because they were not ready for it, but it seems they learned USA ways very well, allowing power and money to obtain a basic right which is out of reach for the common folks. Glad to know this is not the case concerning divorce in Ecuador. How did this topic arrive at us all getting a divorce in Ecuador?
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Create a new account if you have changed your email address or your email cannot be verified. Is there a possibility that our email has gone to your spam folder? Not all the guys are like this and lets be honest we have our own fair share of dickheads in the UK, Quito guys are a little more tactful when your walking in the street but once they open the doors to the guys on Ladies night……. For the love of god who teaches these boys the most appalling chat up lines? I have one student who if he does well in class that week I give him one chat up line in English.
For all my Quito girlfriends….. I am sorry it was me! He loves Friday chat up line time, you have beautiful eyes, Did it hurt when you fell from heaven? As you can tell my dating experiences are going well here in Quito.